Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
