he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
