i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
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