there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize