We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
