I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
