I just saw a hot homeless man
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she told me i tasted like america
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
