the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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