Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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