WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
