Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
