he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
