I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
