I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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