True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
