I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I need moral support for this bender
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
