i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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