Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize