We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
