In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
