omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
