Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
