he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
bring money and cleavage
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
