i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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