butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Randomize
