Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You made out with two different species that night
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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