Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
