I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
