It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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