Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The best revenge is premature balding
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Randomize
