Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
