Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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