the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
