he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
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