did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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