Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
