Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
