Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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