Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize