We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
