For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
