I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
