The maid of honor just puked.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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