So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize