I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
