weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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