we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
These tits shall not be calmed
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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