He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
