His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
