i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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