Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
