Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She bit a glass in half.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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