Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
