We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
