some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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