I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
