What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
