3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
