Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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