I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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