after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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