why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
