I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
