She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
