At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
vagina is talking i cant
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
