I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
