So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
