Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
