Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
