Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i think i just lost a toe
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