a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
