I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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