It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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