you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
