its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
