My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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