is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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