Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry USARMY hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.

Fav 29 939 3936
share tweet
(918): View more from Oklahoma

It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious

Fav 7 1360 2681
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?

Fav 9 1195 721
share tweet
(506): View more from New Brunswick

there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits

Fav 4 872 1360
share tweet
(940): View more from Texas

Sorry about the flaming shit on your door

(940): View more from Texas

I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text

Fav 3 975 742
share tweet
(250): View more from British Columbia

Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.

Fav 10 1263 1089
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(360): View more from Washington

A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.

Fav 4 1715 566
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(760): View more from California

I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.

Fav 3 539 280
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.

Fav 0 17 49
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT