I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
