How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
