Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
