IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
