This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
