Christians are straight up FREAKS
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You ate ashes out of my bong
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
