Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
there is puke in my bra ... again
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